I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
