He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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