Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sorry about my life...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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