I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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