Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
