i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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