He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
