Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
