well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
this hospital has no fireball
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
