yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize