I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
