K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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