last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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