wrigley field is MILF paradise
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
