I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
