i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
