Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
