grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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