any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
