So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
