I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I understand Curling. That high.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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