): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
