Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
