Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
