After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
