He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
