a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
