My room smells like vodka and shame
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
