I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
