Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
