What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
