it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
