I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My vagina is officially offended.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
