So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
