It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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