I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
