My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
