so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
