Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
