It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
