very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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