Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
