you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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