...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
