So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
