im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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