Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
