I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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