Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
