Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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