I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
