His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
